Tips for men dating after divorce

16 Jan

"I'm a strong person, I own my own business and I'm a professional speaker," she says.But she admits she could barely function for a full year after the split.Her divorce recovery classes helped her realize everyone bounces back at their own pace.Psychotherapist Pandora Mac Lean-Hoover, who's divorced, also suggests finding a therapist who knows firsthand how vulnerable you are."She can meet the kids when you know you are serious." Don't make the mistake of continuing to fight with your ex, especially if children are involved."You don't want to be seen as an enemy or an antagonist but as a co-parent," says Arizona State University professor emeritus of psychology Sanford L. "I'm not saying that that will be easy, but everybody will be better off." Braver, co-author of Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths, recommends that men consider conflict and anger management classes.

"Expand your social and professional network to avoid isolation." He also says that the aftermath of a divorce is great time to go back to school. "The last thing the kids want to see is parents getting involved with someone else," says Gordon E."That should be the most important thing from the man's point of view: His child wants him and his child needs him," Finley says."Maintaining the relationship is important for your child's developmental outcome: social, emotional, and educational." Finley warns against becoming what he calls a "Disneyland dad," who acts as if his role is to show up on weekends and show the kids a good time.They rush into new relationships -- and often into new marriages -- within the first year."That's no doubt the biggest mistake," says Buser, who is based in Houston.