Dating a black

06 Nov

I was searching for a committed relationship with a supportive partner, someone I could love deeply and who shared my values and goals.Like many singles, I had created an online dating profile. Now I decided to take it more seriously—these days, I seem to hear fewer and fewer stories of real life meet-cutes.I’m also a musician (some of my work is available on i Tunes); a dancer; and a volunteer with various sports organizations.At first glance, my resumé and accomplishments may loom large, but I had thought that my well-roundedness would be an asset, or at least of interest, to the sort of man I was seeking. I posted a link to my profile on Bunz Dating Zone, a Toronto Facebook group, asking for honest feedback.Among my single friends, and even in the conversations I overheard between strangers in coffee shops, women using dating sites described being “overwhelmed” and “flooded” with communication.On the day I completed my profile, I received one message; four more appeared over the next two days.

That first night, after crafting what I thought was a suitably witty, cool, and interesting profile, I let the site’s algorithms work their magic.

Following a romance in my early twenties with an older man who, I eventually accepted, was simply at a different stage of life, I went through a series of short relationships of varying significance.

I met lovely men—many of whom remain my friends—but by my mid-thirties, I still hadn’t met anyone with whom I felt that same degree of connection and passion I had known with my first love.

A message from a prospective mate every day may sound like a lot.

But given the extremely low probability that any given message will lead to a serious relationship, it’s not.