Interracial dating advice for women excel functions not auto updating

19 Aug

When you look at the role models of my youth, the people and products the media put forth and said, “This is beauty personified,” you’ll notice a distinct theme: Barbie, Britney Spears, Polly Pocket, Sailor Moon, Mandy Moore, Mary Kate and Ashley — all white.I was fully submerged, I mean genuinely immersed, in a culture where people like me weren’t valued as beautiful, so much so that I remember wishing the thick, coarse hair on my American Girl doll, Addy, was straighter and “prettier,” like that of my other dolls.I started thinking about the media and asking myself what qualities I was actually attracted to in a man, specifically my boyfriend, versus what qualities I'd been taught to find attractive.Part of me used to envy how soft, straight, and blond his hair was.But then something happened: people started talking to me, flirting even.Once I escaped the small, isolated microcosm of Upstate New York, I met people who didn't think of me just based off of my skin color.After years and years of internalizing the beauty standard promoted all around me, I headed off to college with a low self-esteem and essentially no sense of self-worth.I went out to a frat party with my roommate on our first night.

Try as I might to suppress the reaction, I experience black men's choice of white women as a personal rejection of the group in which I am a part, of African American women as a whole, who have always been devalued in this society.I have my own unique experiences and some of them include having dated women who are white, but because interracial dating is such a historically tense and loaded subject, it's hardly ever looked at with any understanding or compassion for the people personally involved.The concept of a black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on...I had dated a few guys before, all assholes, and I didn’t think many people would show interest in me.I looked down at my fingertips, stained deep mocha from my foundation, and felt self-conscious.