Dating blunders

21 Jan

When you write a dating advice column, one of the inevitable questions that comes up is the idea of inexperience.For many men, especially as they get older, dating inexperience is a vicious catch-22.(That remaining 1 out of 10 has done you the favor of self-selecting out of your dating pool and you should be grateful that you don’t need to deal with them.) When you’re treating your lack of dates or sexual activity as a crime perpetuated against you by the universe, it makes you considerably less attractive to… If you dig into women’s about how they behave and the attitudes they had towards themselves, towards women and towards relationships. There’s two ways that making excuses doesn’t help you.First and foremost is trying to rationalize away your inexperience.Just because the last 40 women you made out with liked the Swirly-Go-Round doesn’t mean that it’s not going to make your partner’s skin crawl. Do your research where you can (here’s a great place to start…), take some risks, make some mistakes.Great sex isn’t about technique, it’s about comfort and familiarity. Letting your inexperience be your excuse for not trying or expecting someone else to always lead isn’t going to do you any good.

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Of course, this window of opportunity bears about as much resemblance to reality as Pokemon does to animal husbandry.

You don’t need to explain or justify it; trying to find reasons why it’s less “shameful” than others’ just reinforces the idea that there’s something shameful about it in the first place.

You don’t need to explain or excuse your lack of dating experience; “I had other priorities” or “Just hadn’t met the right person” are all you need to say if pressed.

The numbers are arbitrary and invented and almost always tend to be pulled from thin air; I’ve had statistics when it comes to sex and relationships.

We tend to make assumptions based around expectations built up by pop-culture and expectations about what makes a “real” man, assuming that everybody (but us) has been riding the sex train since the 5th Grade while we’re still Machokeing our Combusken at 19.